turning 30

1 Long Term Marriage Issues

If you got married in your twenties, then chances are the infamous seven-year itch may be well underway by the time you reach your early thirties.  As you question the ever-growing divide between how you feel on the inside compared to your external life of routine, rules, mortgages and nappies, you may find that you and your partner slip into daily arguments as your more deep-seated frustrations about life seek a way out. During this time, you may feel the need to step out of the life you have created and begin to ‘find yourself’ again. The sense of wanting to start again or getaway may override your senses and cause you to consider leaving your marriage or have an affair, thinking that the grass may be greener.

But take time to make these types of significant decisions about your marriage.  All relationships have their problems, and though the marriage is often what suffers during this time, your issues may not even be about your partnership but rather due to a sense of identity loss.  Instead of looking to go it alone, try to work through it with your partner; especially if children are involved.  During this time, look to find a fresh outlet for yourself, be it a creative hobby, new friends or getting fit, as well as booking some therapy, whether as a couple or for yourself.  And keep talking to and involving your partner, which will enable them to help you through this common type of long term relationship issue and keep your intimacy alive.

 

2 Not Doing Enough With Your Partner

As we come out of the honeymoon phase and step into the potential drudgery of ‘normal life’, with the routine of work, dinner on the sofa, TV and bed, the spark can soon disappear for any couple. It takes some effort to keep the magic going long after you have bought the house, the big white dress and had the babies; but as with anything worth having, it is worth working for. If you don’t, you can end up growing apart as your lives end up parallel, rather than interwoven.

Start with something you both enjoy doing and go from there. It may be that you begin taking more trips out with the children and use them as your starting place to begin reigniting the closeness. Or else, try a hobby together, a weekly date, or even just a night in cooking together without the TV on, enjoying one another’s company. Light some candles, put on some music and relax together. Not doing enough with your partner can spell the end of the relationship – but you can bring back the love with a little effort.

 

3 Issues In The Bedroom

Sex is deemed the ultimate in intimacy, but if it has lost its sparkle after a few years together it is likely to cause a growing sense of resentment which can go a long way to creating even more issues in the bedroom, and beyond!  Whether you feel like it is your insecurities causing the problem, or you feel unsatisfied, unsafe or vulnerable when getting naked in bed, this can all lead to a lowering of your overall sense of wellbeing, closeness and satisfaction in your relationship.

Talking about your sex life outside of the bedroom may feel awkward, but it is vital. You could start by trying to initiate certain subtle changes during your lovemaking, but if this does not ease the problem then discussing it over dinner or while walking the dog – or during any neutral situation – can help make all the difference. Explain that you love sex with your partner, but you have been thinking there may be ways to make it even better for you both and you would love to figure it out together. Chances are they haven’t been totally unaware but were simply unsure how to deal with it either, especially if you are dealing with conditions such as erectile dysfunction which can be helped with treatments like Levitra from Click Pharmacy, alongside Viagra, sildenafil, Cialis and spedra.

4 Mismatched Dreams

Many relationships begin before the partners take the time to discuss their dreams, as they blindly assume that they both want the same things. But if one wants marriage, children and a mortgage, and the other wants to travel the world or volunteer in war zones, then the likelihood is that the relationship will not go the distance.

It is not just the big, lifelong dreams which can cause problems either. For many men who have reached their 30’s with issues such as erectile dysfunction, they may have become used to the condition and accepted the problem as their reality. As such, when they meet a partner with a desire for long, sensuous lovemaking sessions, this mismatch can get in the way of a blossoming relationship as each partner desires a different kind of intimacy. Impotence is only considered an issue if one or both partners are concerned by it, so if you fall into this category, there are plenty of ways to help ease this issue. From lifestyle changes and therapy to medication such as viagra, sildenafil, Cialis, Levitra and spedra, there are several ways you can get your intimacy dreams back in line.

5 Financial Clashes

Whether there is jealousy over your partner’s high earning job and cleared student loans, or one of you spends over the monthly budget regularly; finances can create serious problems in longterm relationships. This can be made worse in your thirties, which is the time when you are settling down, choosing a career, having children and buying a home, with all the bills which go with homeownership. If you have negative feelings towards your partner’s successes with money such as envy, or else their inability to stop spending over the agreed amount, acknowledging the problem is the first step in easing the resentment. Pretending you feel fine about your joint finances will only result in an argument, rather than am honest, open, productive discussion.

We each have our own financial baggage, whether that is physically in the form of debts, or mental and emotional habits which cause us to overspend or be painfully frugal, causing difficulties with our partner. Accept one another’s current relationship with money and look to understand how it came to be this way, such as childhood lessons taught by parents, before beginning to take steps together to find a healthier way of dealing with your money together.

 

Leave a Reply