We’ve all been told that in order to achieve our goals we need to believe in ourselves, that nothing is impossible, that we are all special. While these things are great to hear and can be really motivating when you are in a workshop or listening to a speaker, that motivation and drive quickly fades when we leave that environment or the next day after that talk.
The problem with self-confidence and self-esteem is that both these things tend to fluctuate a lot, even among successful people there are very few that consistently feel great about themselves and who maintain a high level of self-confidence. For the average person things are not very different, and what is especially challenging is bringing your self-worth back up after you have experienced a low. It’s great if you can maintain a positive and highly energized self-view but if you can master how to just boost your self-confidence when it’s low, tackling tough times becomes that much easier.
Rather than sharing with you some abstract, philosophical ideas about how you should think about yourself, here are a few solid, tangible things you can do to uplift your confidence and help yourself love yourself.
1. Clarify The Problem
When you are faced with troubles and tribulations in life you’ll find your mind wandering into the past and reminiscing over difficult times you’ve had before. You might also find yourself imagining the future and over-exaggerating problems that you could have in the future, adding to the worries you are experiencing now. Productivity experts will tell you that the biggest challenge is to identify the problem so that you can narrow down your focus and start problem-solving. It’s very possible that you are facing more than one problem, and they might all be interconnected, but by clarifying what the problems are you can’t start solving anything. If you think the problem is external or internal, if you can identify it, you are going to feel a lot more confident in solving it.
2. Write Down The Positives
It’s quite possible that even with the problem highlighted you have no idea about how you are going to solve it and you might not even understand the problem fully. Rather than putting yourself down and thinking of all the reasons why you can’t solve it, be positive. Don’t just think positively, write down all the positive things you think about yourself and what others praise you for. This has proven to be a great exercise for improving self-esteem and it also forces you to think about all your positive traits. Not only will this help you highlight your strengths but the process of thinking and writing down positive things about yourself sets positive thoughts in motion and starts pulling you out of negative thought patterns.
3. Write Down The Negatives
They say a wise person is one who keeps his friends close and his enemies even closer, in this case, your enemies are your weaknesses. There are various psychological benefits to making lists but the most important thing is that it clarifies in your own mind the things that you need to stay wary of and areas that you need to improve in. However, while you are noting down negative traits or weaknesses you think you have, look at it from an objective point of view and don’t let it bring you down, this is why you did the positives first.
4. Take A Break
For some people stress is good, it helps them work harder, but this doesn’t mean they are working better. Just putting in more hours doesn’t mean you are doing more work. There is a difference between progress and action. If you need to buckle up for a big task, start off with a nap. Get some rest, get recuperated, and get into the mindset of problem-solving. Being in a worrisome situation hinders our ability to analyze and often leads to poor strategy.
Whatever the problem is, you need to attack and you need to attack with consistency. If you are lucky you might make it through the first time, but generally, it will take more than one try. Be prepared to be consistent and don’t let yourself be put down if you don’t achieve success the first time around. Keep at it, it’s a war against yourself.
One of the biggest problems we make when we are looking for a mood boost or something to take us out of our negative mindset is that we look outside. In actuality, what we need to do is look inside of ourselves and find the motivation, the self-love, and the self-confidence that lies within us. But since we don’t look internally we forget that we have this treasure chest inside us and seek external gratification to make us feel better internally.