12 Things That Will Happen With The Belfast Bikes

By Lana Richardson NI Parcels

With elections coming up on 7th May, the Northern Irish media has been a bit doom and gloom lately…

So naturally, people are feeling a bit downhearted and losing sight of the great things that Northern Ireland has to offer. No one’s in the mood for a packet of Tayto and even Eamonn Holmes’ banter can’t put a smile on our faces.

But thankfully, this week the long-awaited Belfast Bikes scheme launched, giving us something more positive to focus our attention on.

Here at NI Parcels, we’re very excited about the impact that Belfast Bikes will have on the city, and hopefully the wider country as time goes on. We have a really great feeling about it, so we thought we’d turn our thoughts into an entertaining little blog post that will distract you from all the negative headlines for at least five minutes.

Here are: 12 things that will inevitably happen with the Belfast Bikes

1. There will be selfies. So many selfies. Caption: “Trying out the new @Belfastbikes” Subtext: “Look how fit and healthy I am and how much I care about the environment and my community. AMENT I GREAT?!”

I reckon these @Belfastbikes are going to work really well in the city. Great fun trying them out today #VisitBelfast pic.twitter.com/130X8QnNoI

— Pete Snodden (@PeteSnodden) April 22, 2015

2. The media will talk like it’s the best thing to happen to Northern Ireland and make it look like we’re a progressive place, in line with the rest of the UK. Everyone’s going to be fitter and healthier and Belfast is going to be the centre of the world.  (And of course, there’ll be a bunch of negative Nellies who will yap about it.)

3. It will therefore be the greatest novelty in the world for about a month and everyone will sign up and try one out for the craic.

4. Websites and newspapers will compete for the most ridiculous pun infested headlines which we groan at despite being secretly impressed yet sad that we didn’t think of them first.

5. There will be pictures of Northern Irish politicians. And we will make memes with these pictures.

😀 @RBlackBT @NiallSF @belfastsinnfein @Belfastbikes £20 from Chain Reaction & don't say I was robbed pic.twitter.com/Zf5oisSzDu

— Máirtín Ó Muilleoir (@newbelfast) April 28, 2015

6. Someone will get hurt and there will be calls to ban Belfast Bikes altogether.

7. The helmet issue will become a thing. But nothing will happen with it. Followed by stories of drunk cycling.

8. More miserable sods will yap about Belfast Bikes and they will be given a funny nickname; ie the coca cola death traps. (Yes, that’s rubbish. I’m sure the great Northern Irish public will think of something better.)

9. Some idiot will definitely attempt to put one on top of a Bonfire. Or dump one in the Lagan. Oh wait…

New 'Belfast Bikes' to be installed directly into the River Lagan – http://t.co/mYSavSnkK2 pic.twitter.com/7h0FJ0quHD

— The Ulster Fry (@UlsterFryNI) April 27, 2015

10. The media will make it look like we have a huge vandalism problem and people will be interviewed on Nolan or UTV Live suggesting that we cancel the entire scheme.

Day one and someone has damaged a @Belfastbikes docking station. #wiseup pic.twitter.com/bX6iicT3vz

— Belfast Live (@BelfastLive) April 27, 2015

11. Once the buzz dies down and people calm the bap, commuters will start to use them and realise that they are bloody handy.

The @BelfastBikes Day 1 https://t.co/chTqSnDoed pic.twitter.com/pCdzAbWBnM

— Love Belfast ❤️ (@love_belfast) April 28, 2015

12. In the end, they’ll eventually become part of day-to-day life and WILL be an asset to the city.

@VictoryChimps @LansPics @aoibhinnditori @NIParcels @newbelfast You've been spotted on the @BelfastBikes http://t.co/P9sR0V8o2o

— Love Belfast ❤️ (@love_belfast) April 28, 2015

This blog post was brought to you by the NI Parcels…